“In the kingdom of God strangers on the doorstep represent a gift and opportunity from God.” --Michael Knowles
Introduction
It was a nightmare I’ll never forget.
Two days before Christmas. A free Sunday morning,
free to visit a church for its special Christmas Sunday morning service.
We chose one a little distance from home, a church where we were
virtually unknown. We left early to be sure to be on time but missing
the street, driving around a little we arrived at 11:01 a.m. The service
had just begun!
Our first encounter were large beautifully carved
solid wood doors. What was behind those doors? We entered unnoticed and
stood alone in the foyer listening to the congregation singing the first
carol. Finding the coat room, I hung up my winter coat and returned to
my wife still standing alone in the foyer. Two ushers stood in the
entrance to the sanctuary with their backs to us joyfully singing with
the standing congregation. I startled one of them when I touched him on
the shoulder and asked for a bulletin. He handed us two then turned to
continue singing. We were left to find our seats in a full auditorium,
Christmas Sunday morning, congregation standing.
I spotted two seats on the aisle half way to the
front. Relieved, we hurried down the aisle only to discover signs on the
seats; “Reserved for ushers.”
At that moment the carol concluded and the congregation sat down. Everyone, except us! Embarrassed? You bet! What do we do now?
Over in the far corner, at the back, I saw some
empty wooden chairs that had been brought in to handle the overflow. We
worked our way toward them and sat down just in time for the next hymn.
We searched – but no hymn books were to be found. After the hymn we were
instructed to “meet and greet” our neighbors. No one talked to us –
visitors – on such a strategic Sunday morning.
Were we relaxed, comfortable, ready to worship God
and hear from Him? Not really!! Will we ever go back to that church? Not
likely!! After the service we met the same apathy – no one welcomed us
or even attempted to speak to us. What was the problem?
In many ways this is a great church, just not a visitor friendly church.
Compare that to the experience of Martin and MacIntosh (The Issachar Factor, p. 133).
“Recently we visited a large church. As we stepped up
to enter the front door, a lady greeted us by saying “Hi, Is this your
first visit with us?” After we replied in a positive manner, she
introduced herself, asked our name and walked us to a welcome center. At
the center she introduced us by name to the person at the desk who
immediately offered help and gave us directions to important areas of
the church such as rest rooms and the auditorium. As we were about to
end our conversation an usher walked up and she introduced us to him. He
then led us to our seats in the auditorium. In just a few short minutes
we had been introduced to several friendly people, our names mentioned
three times, and were given all the initial information we needed. With
such a well-planned strategy, there is no wonder that the church is
growing.”
Welcome to a visitor friendly church.
Their conclusion:
“Effective churches which are reaching their community
for Jesus Christ and helping people assimilate into the body make people
flow a priority.” (p. 120)
The authors suggest every church falls into one of three categories:
The hospital church – Cares for its own
The army church – On the march
The “MASH” Unit church – Combines both aspects
Into which of these categories does your church fall?
The focus of this booklet is on building a church
that not only cares for its own, but cares for others as well. It is
visitor friendly.
Dr. Percy of the Wycliffe College Institute of
Evangelism asks; “How do we treat our visitors? This is one of the first
questions that must be asked by any congregation that is thinking
seriously about evangelism. It hardly makes sense to develop strategies
for inviting people to church if we don’t know how to treat the people
who come on their own.”
The problem is not a new one. It is as old as the Christian church.
Chapter One: The Church Has Not Always Been Visitor Friendly.
Let’s revisit, for a moment, the first century church.
The church in Jerusalem had no welcome mat for Saul of Tarsus, the recently converted persecutor of the early church.
When he came to Jerusalem he tried to join the
disciples but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really
was a disciple.
Acts 9:26
This sounds like the reception too many converted ex-cons receive today in some of our churches.
It was this same church that was reluctant even to open the door to Peter with his Gentile converts (
Acts 10:11).
The church hadn’t quite caught up to Peter who had broken free of his
spirit of discrimination against the Gentiles and was able to say:
I now realize how true it is that God does not show
favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what
is right…..Jesus Christ is Lord of all.
Acts 10:34-36
So it was with the church in Rome. The background
for the writing of Paul’s epistle to that church was the racial tension
between the Jews and Gentiles.
The Jews couldn’t understand how the Gentiles had
come into favour and blessing. The Gentiles couldn’t understand why the
Jews had such favour with God. So Paul explains God’s workings and ways
with Jews and Gentiles in his plan of salvation – explained so
thoroughly in
Romans 1-11.
Against this background comes a series of “one-anothers” in chs. 12-16
applying the truths of chs. 1-11 to the Jewish-Gentile relationships. In
Romans 15:7 he directly addresses the problem when he states; “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you….”
This attitude of partiality and discrimination
spread with the dispersion of the early Christians as they scattered
from Jerusalem. James addresses it when he writes in
James 2:1-11
against discriminating among themselves, receiving the wealthy,
rejecting the poor. It’s clearly not a recent problem. We have a long
tradition of failure when it comes to being visitor friendly.
What About The Church Today?
Apparently the problem continues to persist twenty centuries later.
As a young man Mahatma Gandhi went forth in quest of
the truth. He sought to discover the religion which would emancipate
India from the caste system. Diligently he examined various religions.
He came to the conclusion that Christianity had the right answer to
India’s divisive, degrading problems.
One Sunday Gandhi went to a Christian church. An
usher coldly confronted him at the front door and said, “Sir, this
church is only for Europeans.” Disillusioned, Gandhi walked silently
away from the church. The racially exclusive attitude he had encountered
caused him to turn away from Christianity and dedicate himself to the
spreading of Hinduism to Indian’s millions. How different India’s
history might have been if Christ likeness had been displayed by that
usher! If they had only been visitor friendly!
Are we really much different?
The extensive research of sociologist Dr. Gerhard Lenski would suggest not. In his book, The Religion Factor
he reports on a study of protestant congregations of all kinds in the
city of Detroit. His conclusion is that we prefer people “like ourselves
in tastes and income.” Although we don’t mind a few folks a little
above us with “their gold rings.” When it comes to those who don’t fit
we “ignore them.”
Generally we are too polite to refuse or reject – we
just ignore. We have learned that this is the politically correct way
to exclude people. They soon get the message that they don’t fit and
leave. Ask the poor, the single, the divorced, the widows and a dozen
others. Apparently we have become quite proficient in delivering the
message subtly and courteously.
Addressing this issue to evangelism in Canada a few
years ago, Dr. Roy Bell, of Vancouver wrote; “The most important issue
in evangelism today isn’t methods, content or even willingness to
witness. It is ‘the Exclusion Factor.’” Again he writes; “The issue on
which evangelism flourishes or falls is one of acceptance or rejection.”
So what needs to be done? What can be done? Can your church really become visitor friendly? Absolutely.
Chapter Two: Eight Steps To Building A Visitor Friendly Church
While writing this booklet I am in North Carolina to
participate in the wedding of our oldest granddaughter. We will be
visitors over the Christmas and New Year’s celebrations in the church
they attend. That’s right – visitors! It’s not our first visit. I think
it’s our third or fourth.
We can’t wait to get to this church. It’s one of the
brightest parts of our visit. We love their energetic but devout
worship, their biblical and practical preaching but especially the warm,
welcoming people. It is visitor friendly! In varying capacities, I’ve
been in scores of churches over the years. When it comes to unchurched
people, especially of the younger contemporary scene, this church is way
up on the scale.
How did they get there? It doesn’t just happen. They
are very intentional in being visitor friendly. Can it happen in your
church? Of course it can. Can you help make a difference? Absolutely!
Let’s consider some steps we can take to make this ideal visitor friendly church a reality.
Step 1 Clarify Your Vision
What is your vision for your church?
In his book, Mentoring Leaders, Carson Pue, Director of the Arrow Leadership Training ministry defines vision:
“It is a compelling picture of the future based on God’s desires”
So what is the leadership’s, the congregation’s
vision for your church? Where and what do you all think God wants your
church to be five years from now? Have you been praying about this?
Studying the scriptures to answer this? Discussing together the options?
Agreeing on a picture that is compelling.?
Are you now committed to the pursuit of that picture?
Visitor friendly needs to be in that picture because
this surely is God’s desire for your church. A New Testament church
welcomes fellow believers.
Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Romans 15:7
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:3
A new commandment I give you; Love one another. As I
have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know you are
my disciples if you love one another.
John 13:34-35
But what about those who are not yet followers of
Christ – people who may be seeking, searching, enquiring, investigating?
What about your friends and family members with whom you have shared
your faith. You have been praying for them. Then there are those friends
who need to hear the gospel . You care about them. You are waiting for
an open door and you are praying for them as well.
At some point you may want to invite one of them to
church with you. Or, better yet, they may ask if they can go to church
with you. What kind of reception would you want your church to give
them? What kind of reception should a Christian church extend to them?
What kind of reception should they expect? Here’s the answer:
“I was a stranger….and you welcomed me.”
Matt. 25:35 (Amp)
This needs to be part of your vision for your church – a compelling commitment!
In
Revelation 1:20
the local church is described as a lampstand, I like to think this
pictures the church as a motion activated floodlight in the community;
dispelling moral and spiritual darkness, dispensing moral and spiritual
light. Reaching out to the community, making a difference through our
good works, (
Matt. 5:16), will inevitably result in people we have touched visiting our church. What kind of reception will they receive?
At that Sunday morning service we are going to
present the gospel, invite people to trust Christ, speak of the joy and
blessings of a Christian life. What kind of reception will add
credibility to that message and influence them toward a commitment to
Christ?
The evidence is that the reception they receive becomes a significant factor in their conversion experience.
This is the conclusion of a consortium of Scottish
denominations who recently commissioned a research project to discover;
“How do people find faith today?”
The results have been recently published in a booklet “Journeys and Stories.” One reviewer, Mark Greene, writes;
One of the strongest messages to emerge from “Journeys
and Stories” is that living as a community of believers – a community
which is welcoming, accepting, inviting, joyful, enthusiastic,
encouraging and loving is the most powerful testimony possible. It
constitutes a significant contribution to people’s journeys to God, a
compelling invitation to a banquet, perhaps even a sign that the kingdom
of God is here.
There can be no doubt that one of the desires of the
Lord for your church is that it be visitor friendly. Is that your
vision? Take a second look at your church’s vision statement. Review
your core values. Read through last Sunday’s church bulletin and other
pieces of your church literature. Are there any indications at all that
having a visitor friendly church is part of the “compelling picture” of
your church’s future. Are you committed to be part of the solution? This
is where it starts. One of the elders gets the vision. A family
determines to make a difference. An individual says; “I can do this” and
steps out of the pack, begins to pray, steps up to the plate and leads
the way to a new way of “doing church.” Such people have a compelling
picture of the future based on God’s desires.
But are you prepared for company?
Step 2 Prepare For Company
Have you ever visited a family that wasn’t expecting
you? You wanted to surprise them but, in fact, you embarrassed them
and, as a result, you were embarrassed. Dirty dishes are on the kitchen
counter, children’s toys are scattered around the family room; the
laundry is in progress, the man is away fishing, there’s nothing in the
house for lunch and the list goes on. You’ve been there. Everyone’s
apologizing.
Because of the nature of our ministry, Marilyn and I
are often weekend guests in Christian’s homes. Frequently before we
arrive we receive a phone call or email from our hosts. They provide
directions, schedules and other important information. They enquire
about our arrival time, dietary limitations, food preferences and other
accommodation matters. They are obviously intent on making the visit a
pleasant experience for us as well as for themselves. They are preparing
for company.
This is the second step in building a visitor
friendly church. Before we invite company we need to prepare for
company. It makes for a pleasant experience – one that could be
repeated! It indicates that we are eager to have company. This is what
we are about. We don’t have to be apologizing and embarrassed. The
company feels relaxed and welcome. It lets them know they are important
to us. Here are a few suggestions that could make a huge difference to
our church visitors.
Look at your facilities with a critical eye. Look through the eyes of a visitor. This is the first
impression a visitor will have of your church. Are the buildings in
good condition? Clean, Tidy, Freshly painted, Accessible, Grass cut and
trimmed. We become accustomed to signs of deterioration. Visitors notice
them first. This says a lot about us.
Is the main church sign outside your building
attractive, inviting, informative? Are there helpful signs inside the
building to the nursery, coat room, washrooms, auditorium, office, etc.
You don’t need them but your visitors will really appreciate them. They
will recognize the signs are for their benefit.
In place of heavy solid oak front doors creating
apprehensions as visitors approach, is there enough glass that they can
see what’s inside and be relaxed?
Are there Bibles and hymn or chorus books available
in the pews? Do you have a welcome desk in the foyer where literature
and information is readily available?
Have you determined how best to obtain a record of
their visit without embarrassing your visitors? Are visitor cards or
packets available? Where? How will they be collected or obtained?
How can you reserve seats for visitors without
making them reserved? Some congregations are simply instructed not to
sit in the back two rows. They understand these seats are reserved for
visitors (and perhaps parents with young children.) They also are
trained to move in from the aisle, saving aisle seats for visitors.
Ushers can help facilitate this.
The twenty-first century has arrived almost
everywhere – except in some churches. This is the information age with
its startling technology. What is the message delivered to a person who
comes with some experience in current technology into a church that
gives no evidence of even being aware of it – let alone proficient in
using it? We don’t need to be trailblazers but we do need to be
contemporary with (1) equipment that will complement, enhance and
support our worship and preaching, as well as, with (2) trained
personnel who are both sensitive to the supportive place of technology
and are proficient in using it.
After five minutes into their first visit to your church you want them to be thinking any one of the following:
“They were sure expecting company this morning.”
“I really feel welcomed.”
“They have certainly thought of everything to make this a pleasant visit.”
“I think I am going to enjoy myself this morning.”
“This isn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be.”
Careful preparation will pave the way to a great visit.
Now you are ready to invite company.
Step 3 Invite Guests
While large amounts of money and time have been
invested in impersonal invitations, in and of themselves, they yield
meager results. Take, for example, the sign in front of many churches
and chapels. Most of them declare “Everybody welcome.” If true, it’s a
wonderful sentiment. But does it work? The crowds pass by unmoved.
What about notices in local newspapers or flyers dropped in mail boxes? Do they work. They may have in the past but not today.
This is not to say they are without value. They
raise awareness of our presence. They provide a contact. They indicate
our interest in our community. All of this prepares the way for a
personal invitation and that is what seems to be required today. If we
want company, we need to invite company personally!
How can a congregation be encouraged to become
inviters? Why aren’t we? We may be exhorted to bring friends, but we
seldom do. Why Not?
I think there are some obvious reasons with some very practical solutions.
a) The erratic quality of the worship and the preaching
discourages us from inviting others. When it is great one Sunday,
mediocre the next Sunday, occasionally disastrous and embarrassing we
can’t depend on a consistent quality that would make us confident enough
to risk bringing a friend. If we don’t trust our church for a service
of consistent quality we are unlikely to take a risk with a friend.
Solution: Consistently offer the kind of Sunday morning service that our friends will appreciate.
b) Plan special Sundays; Friendship Sundays. Announce
them in advance. Everyone will know this service is planned with our
friends and neighbours in view. Provide special invitation cards that we
can pass on to friends highlighting the event. It will be a reminder to
them, posted on their fridge door. Make it an event, not just another
Sunday morning service.
c) The music is a critical factor. If a person in your
congregation is unhappy with the music, he or she is not about to invite
guests to church. I’m well aware of the crisis there is today in the
area of music. If your are ever going to be the church God wants you to
be it will be essential that with some open discussion, a little
personal compromising, a lot of grace and some serious prayer, you
establish a united front which will involve the generations in your
congregation to embrace a common style, standard and philosophy of
worship and music.
d) Sermons that ignite, enlighten, inspire, encourage,
comfort and challenge members in the congregation will motivate them to
invite their friends to church. If the preaching is consistently
relevant, personal, thoughtful, biblical and well presented, we will
leave wishing that a friend, a family member, a colleague had been
present to hear that today. When we feel that way about our preaching we
will be eager to invite friends.
e) Finally, enlarge the vision of the church to include
caring not just about themselves and their church family but about those
outside the family also. God does – so should we. In our postmodern
world our unchurched friends don’t make going to church a priority, They
don’t trust organized religion – like a church. They don’t believe in
absolute truth – like the Bible. They don’t want to be spectators – like
listening to a sermon. Why would they ever want to come to church?
I can only think of two reasons; God by His Holy
Spirit is creating within them a need and desire that will turn their
hearts toward Himself. This is why and what we pray for on behalf of our
friends who are not yet followers of Christ.
But seldom is this done apart from a second factor: a
relationship with a Christian friend. As we cultivate friendships with
schoolmates, neighbours colleagues or relatives who are not yet
followers of Christ, as we enter their lives, meet some needs, answer
their questions, welcome them into our homes and lives we earn their
trust. The door is open to extend to them an invitation to come with us
to church.
As the research reviewed in “Journeys and Stories”
demonstrated, Mark Green observed: “A key factor in people becoming
Christians as far as they were concerned was…a relationship with a
Christian.” He goes on to explain, “One man was helped on his journey
towards Christ by his wife’s encounter with another Christian in her
workplace.”
A caring, helpful relationship gives us the right
and often the opportunity to invite our friends to church. When they
come, our first and perhaps greatest challenge is to avoid embarrassing
them.
Step 4 Put Guests At Ease
When it comes to welcoming our guests, the cardinal rule is never embarrass them!
They arrive anxious, nervous, curious, apprehensive, perhaps even
reluctant. They really don’t know what to expect when they step through
those doors. They want to make a good impression. They are afraid of
making a fool of themselves, doing something wrong. They want to blend
into the crowd, be unnoticed. From the very outset our challenge is to
put them at ease.
It starts with the greeters at the front door. They
are distinguished by the privilege of making the first impression of our
church family. An enthusiastic welcome sets the tone, The greeters
welcome them as guests.
Their smile, handshake and greeting convey the
impression – “We are genuinely pleased you are visiting us this
morning.” Never ask, “Are you visiting us today?” Much better is
something like this, “I don’t think I’ve met you before. My name is
_______________.” They will likely respond with something like, “My name
is ________________, I’m a visitor today.” or “This is my first time in
your church.”
At this point, the greeter becomes a guide. We treat
them as we would treat guests entering our home. They are gifts to our
church. They are friends we are about to make. The greeter guides them
toward the coat room, the washrooms, the nursery, the Sunday school, the
sanctuary.
The greeter has done everything possible to put them
at ease and remove any embarrassment. This is a great start to the
visit. Their guard comes down. The anxiety level lowers. The
anticipation rises.
Next come the ushers. Well trained ushers anticipate
the questions of their guests who are wondering, “What happens now?”
The usher hands the guests a church bulletin explaining it contains the
order of service. The guests are wondering; “Where can I sit?” The usher
offers to seat them. They may be wondering, “Where and when do I pick
up my children?” An effective usher puts them at ease by anticipating
and answering their questions without ever embarrassing them.
As the service begins the worship leader, chairman
or pastoral leader welcomes everyone. Again everything is done to avoid
embarrassing our guests. We don’t ask them to stand and identify
themselves. We guide everyone to the Bible in the pew before them and
give them the page number for the scripture reading. We give clear
guidance for standing, sitting, kneeling, praying, offerings, communion,
welcome cards and everything else that becomes part of the service and
is appropriate in your church. We are always mindful that they are our
guests. We want them to be at ease. Only then will they be free to
worship, listen and learn with us.
Now comes the tipping point. The members of the
congregation determine whether it’s a win or a loss. Our experience is
that the standard of the congregation in welcoming guests is set by the
leadership of the church. As the leaders go, so goes the congregation.
The leaders set the tone and inspire the people. The leaders reproduce
after their kind. What the leaders model is what they are inclined to
get. We’ve seen this to be true in various areas, not the least of which
is the open, warm, friendly welcome extended to guests. Once again the
congregation reflects its leadership.
To mobilize the congregation and to maximize their
impact there are two guidelines that can be given to them. One: accept
responsibility for a radius of approximately five feet around you. When
guests take their seats close by you, they can be casually but
enthusiastically greeted. Then comes the “meet and greet” time. This is
an opportunity for a more extended greeting: introductions, questions,
sharing. If there is time, it’s also an opportunity to reach beyond the
guests sitting beside you to others within that five foot radius.
If the entrance welcome is important, the exit
welcome is even more important. Now your guests may have some questions
about the service or your church. They may want to discuss something
they have seen or heard. They may need some guidance to the Sunday
school rooms, nursery, washrooms or parking lot.
This is when a second guideline may help. Reserve
the first few minutes after a service for connecting with guests. Resist
the temptation to gravitate quickly into a small circle with your close
friends. The parting impression of our guests will probably be the most
lasting impression. Remember we want to put our guests at ease and
avoid embarrassing them, especially as they leave our church.
Although they have now returned home, guests are not to be forgotten. How can we best follow up? Or is that even important?
Step 5 Connect With Our Guests
There is some research to suggest the sooner the
contact is made after a visit the better. The longer it takes to make a
contact, the less likely the visitor will return.
In most cases, I believe, the best first contact after a church visit is a phone call.
The Peoples Church in Toronto, Canada is recognized around the world
for its huge foreign missions involvement. Interestingly they are just
as devoted and committed to home missions. One aspect of this ministry
is their strategy for connecting with people who visit their Sunday
services. During the service guests are invited to fill out a visitor’s
welcome card which can be found in the back of the pew in front of them
and to deposit it in the offering plate.
On Monday, teams of 6-8, mostly retired, seniors
come to the church for the afternoon or evening. The cards are reviewed
and phone calls are made to each guest
who lives in the city. The caller thanks the guest for visiting the
church yesterday, answers any questions the visitor may have, explains a
little about the church and invites them to return next week or to some
special upcoming event. It is a very effective way to connect.
Some churches connect by mail. This is most
effective when it is a follow-up from the phone call and when it is
personal and informative. A form letter with a stamped signature may say
a lot about the church but it is not very complimentary, Recently I
came across a good letter sent to new residents in the church’s
community. While the details may be changed it is a good model for
connecting. After welcoming the person/family warmly and personally the
letter continues:
Our church family has been a part of __________ for
over 50 years now. While we have a long history of ministry in this
community and core values that remain true, we are always changing as we
are touched by the love of God through the lives of people.
If I may, please allow me to tell you just a little about my church family:
* We are mission minded, desiring that all experience God’s love revealed in Jesus.
* We believe that the Bible has a message that is applicable to real life concerns today.
* We are committed to quality ministry and are constantly attempting to improve.
* We are committed to supporting families of all sizes.
* We are committed to improving the quality of life in our city and around the world.
*We are growing and expanding and invite you to come and grow with us.
If you have any questions or would like to know more
about the church you may e-mail me at __________ or phone me at
_____________.
(Times of the services are given here.)
If you are without a spiritual home we invite you to stop by sometime soon.
Please enjoy a cup of delicious coffee or espresso on us compliments of JUDY’S on _________ or downtown on _____________ Street.
(Signature)
In most communities today “cold-calls” are not
appreciated. A personal visit, down the line sometime, may be useful
when it is initiated by our guests and it is by appointment.
Now that our guest has taken the first big step and
visited our church what can we do to encourage them to return. What is
the most important factor in moving from a guest to a regular attendee?
Step 6 Provide Opportunities To Make Friends
How we treat visitors and assimilate new people into
the life of the church is strategic for preventing a revolving door.
People might be coming to church looking for spiritual reality or for
answers to life’s problems, but in many cases the glue that helps them
stay is relationships. Don Posterski [of World Vision] noted from his
research on effective churches,
“People may initially be drawn to a church because of
the preaching or because of denominational affiliation, but they will
continue to attend because of meaningful relationships with others.”
Arnell Motz, Christian Week
The evidence abounds; no matter the reason that
brought the guests the first time, the chances of them staying increases
significantly as they are able to develop good relationships within the
church. Our role is to facilitate this by providing opportunities for
friendships to develop.
When our son left home, moved to a distant city to
take a job, it was after several weeks of searching that he finally
settled in a church. The reason?
That’s right: friendships!
During a ministry visit to an assembly recently I
visited with a wonderful couple who said that when they moved into the
area they first attended another chapel.
They told us how welcomed they first felt there but
never seemed to be able to break into the inner circle. So they left.
That’s the revolving door. How can we prevent that? Remembering that the
welcoming process continues even after that first or second Sunday can
make the difference.
The fastest growing church in Canada today – and one
of the largest – meets in a suburb of Toronto. The church is known for
excellent Bible teaching and helping people grow in their Christian
life. It has experienced phenomenal growth among baby boomers and
busters. It is called “The Meeting House.” They have identified a
decisive factor in church growth and highlighted it in their name. Along
with the other good things the church offers, this is a place to meet
people.
The very first opportunity we have to facilitate
this is the moment our guests enter our church. It becomes a priority
function of the greeters. Upon welcoming our guests, think of what it
would mean if the greeters began introducing the new family to a church
family or two standing nearby, perhaps a family with similar age
children, common background, similar careers or live in the same
neighbourhood. Such greeters understand the power and influence of
friendships to church guests.
Some churches have a reception for their guests
after the Sunday morning service. It provides an opportunity to meet the
speaker, a staff member, a couple of the elders or some hosts and
hostesses. An orientation meeting every three months for newcomers to
the church gives them an opportunity, not only, to learn more about the
church’s history, vision, mission, distinctives and programs, but
especially to meet other newcomers. Church social events, a series of
classes once a year for newcomers will serve this purpose as well. Our
roll is to provide the opportunities.
This is what helps stop the revolving door. It just
makes good sense. It is much easier to keep people who have come to
visit our church than it is to get people to come and visit! When we
have successfully achieved the harder thing – getting them to visit – we
don’t want to short-circuit the process by failing to do the easier
thing – keeping them.
But we have much more to offer them besides
friendship. Once the relationship question is settled our guests may
begin looking for other things.
What else can we offer?
Step 7 Offer Opportunities To Grow And Serve
There are two basic approaches to encountering
guests when they come to our church. If we know them to be Christ
followers, the most common approach is; “What can you do for us?”
We do not express it verbally but we often think it. After the
introductions and as they begin to share our church life we can begin to
see them as prospects for ministry. Our conversations become virtual
job interviews. We listen carefully for hints as to where they will fit
into our programs. What experiences have they had. Where do their
interests lie? What training have they had? Our entire focus is on how
they can help us. The message this delivers is hardly a flattering one;
it is generally an offensive one; never a spiritual one.
It simply says we are more interested in ourselves than in our guests.
The alternative, of course, is to ask the Christ
follower or the person who is not yet a Christ follower in any one of a
dozen ways; “What can we do for you? How can we serve
you? What are your needs that we can address? What difference can we
make in your life or family? Obviously we don’t verbalize these
questions. We just filter all we are hearing through the grid of these
questions and then offer them opportunities to meet their needs not
ours.
A few years back, in the Year Of The Family some
research indicated that 58% of unchurched families in Canada said that
they probably would go to church if they thought the church would help
their family. This is quite startling. I wonder how they have ever come
to the conclusion that a church wouldn’t help? What message have we been
delivering so loudly and clearly that so many have heard it – and we
have missed it?
For many of us this requires a major adjustment in
our value system, thinking and ministry style. Our calling is not to use
people but to serve people. It’s not what their gifts, talents, time
and money can do for us. It’s what we can do for them. This happens as
our relationship develops.
Think how impressed our guests would be if we
listened so carefully that we were able to offer them a class or a
ministry that would meet their needs – whether that need was to come to
know Jesus personally or a class that would mobilize their gifts. It
would say we are committed, ready and willing to enrich your life.
Don’t promise what you can’t produce. But make every effort to produce what you promise. That’s Christian integrity.
At this point in our relationship several weeks may
have passed. They have been welcomed and are settling into our church.
Now there is one step left to complete the process.
Step 8 Ask For Feedback
The most valuable evaluation we could possibly
receive will come from those we have successfully engaged in the process
of being a visitor friendly church.
We want to know what worked and what didn’t work.
What did we do well? What could be improved? What do we need to stop?
What tipped the scale for them?
We are not really qualified to answer these
questions. But we know who is. If you really are serious - ask them.
Why? Because making our churches visitor friendly really is important!
This Is Really Important
It’s not an option. It’s an opportunity to make a
difference. Look at it this way. When it comes to making a difference
there are two kinds of churches.
Some churches are like a cruise ship, others are
like a battle ship. It isn’t hard to tell the difference. A cruise ship
is crowded with passengers who are there to be served by a few hard
working people, often underpaid, crew members. Not so on a battleship.
No passengers on board. It’s a ship on a mission. Everyone on board has
an assignment. The degree to which each individual fulfils his/her
assignment will determine the degree of success in their mission.
Which is your church? A cruise ship or a battleship?
More importantly – What about your role? Are you contributing toward
your church being a cruise ship or becoming a battleship? One assignment
that is shared by all is to participate in cultivating a visitor
friendly church. This is important to every serious follower of Christ
for these reasons.
1. We care, not just about ourselves, but about
others. We care, not only for those in our tight circle of church
friends, but others in the church as well. We care, not just about our
church family, but about our Lord’s broader church family. We care, not
just about the family of God but those outside the family of God as
well. When we care, becoming visitor friendly becomes very important to
us.
We take seriously New Testament directives such as:
Rom. 15:7 “Welcome one another, as Christ has welcomed you.”
Heb. 13:2 “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers.”
We are serious about building visitor friendly churches because we care about others.
This is the heart of Christian love.
1 Cor. 13; “love…is not self seeking.”
This is the essence of Christian discipleship.
Mark 8:34 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself.”
This is a feature of Christlikeness.
Phil. 2:4 “Look out… to the interests of others.”
The second reason building a visitor friendly church
is important to serious followers of Christ is because by this means we
can make a terrific difference.
2. We want to make a difference.
Several years ago, while listening to the morning TV
news in Florida, I heard the governor say what every Christian leader
feels. He said; “I’m here to make a difference. I’m not here to stay but
while I’m here I want to make a difference and I assume that of you as
well.” That is the way every serious follower of Christ feels. But how?
Too many people come in the front door and leave by the back door.
That’s the revolving door. It can be stopped. Keeping people from going
out the back door is easier than getting them in the front door. We can
spend large sums of money, exert huge amounts of energy and invest large
blocks of time trying to get visitors in the front door. Some
thoughtful care can keep them.
Let’s think of some differences you could make: the
rescuing of a lonely, lost person, the healing of a marriage, the growth
of a young fledgling Christian, the development of a gifted teacher,
the transformation of a church. All these and dozens more can be the
product of closing the back door so that a guest settles into your
church, becomes a Christ follower, becomes active, studies and grows.
The outcomes can be incredible. They are often traced back to the influence of a visitor friendly person.
There is a third reason why serious followers of Christ are serious about building visitor friendly churches.
3. We want to see people come to Christ.
In our postmodern world we know that personal
relationships are a major factor in the process. Remember my earlier
reference to the booklet reporting some resent research in Scotland –
“Journeys and Stories.” The report affirmed the critical role a warm,
welcoming, energetic congregation has on people coming to faith in
Christ today.
It also affirms “the significance of the
insignificant.” Apparently trivial acts of kindness, ways of living
become beacons, signposts along the way. Clearly he reports, “the
quality of relationships in the church has evangelistic power. The
selflessness and generosity of our relationship is a sign to the world
of the truth of the message, in fact, it is part of the message.”
The author goes on to report. “God works through
relationships, through the people we meet and through exposing the
people we meet to other people who know and love the living God.”
Lori Graham Lotz, (Just Give Me Jesus, pp
286-288), recounts a touching moment that highlights the brilliant
warmth of a caring D,L. Moody against the appalling dark background of
an uncaring usher. (I have abbreviated her story.)
Geoffrey was a young boy living on the streets in
the slums of London. He had heard about a fiery preacher named D.L.
Moody and that he was preaching in a church on the other side of the
city. Geoffrey wanted to hear him. He set out to find the church,
dodging carriage wheels, crowded thoroughfares and hordes of
pedestrians. Finally finding the church he stared at it in awe. The
church was situated on a hill with beautiful stained glass windows. He
could hear voices singing. It awakened in him a longing that felt like
homesickness.
Bounding up the long, sweeping staircase that led to
the massive wooden front door, a big hand descended out of nowhere
grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him around, and inquired sharply,
“Just where do you think you’re going laddie?” Geoffrey responded
trustfully, “I heard Dr. Moody was going to preach here tonight. I’ve
walked all the way across London to hear him.” “Not you! You’re too
dirty to go inside!”
Geoffrey stalked off the front steps confident that
he could find another way into the church. But all doors were locked. He
ended up back on the front steps, tears trickling down his grimy
cheeks.
Suddenly a black carriage pulled up to the foot of
the steps and a distinguished-looking gentleman in topcoat and hat
climbed out. When he reached Geoffrey’s step he noticed the tearstains
on the boy’s cheeks. “What’s wrong?” he inquired.
“I came to hear Dr. Moody preach, but that man says I’m too dirty to go inside.”
The gentleman looked down at the little boy and
extended his hand. “Come with me.” Hand in hand they walked up the long
sweeping staircase. When them came to the huge door the very same
doorkeeper, who a few minutes before had forbidden the boy to enter, now
hastily opened the door wide. Geoffrey walked through the open door,
down the center aisle right to the very front row. With every eye on
them, the big man seated Geoffrey there in front of the entire
congregation. Then the big man walked on up the steps to the platform,
stood behind the pulpit, and began to preach! The man was D. L. Moody!
“Above all, we want to welcome strangers because (as
Mother Teresa of Calcutta puts it) they represent Christ in “disguise.”
For who does not long to hear Christ’s words of commendation on the Last
Day, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me” (
Matt. 25:35)?”
Michael Knowles
Times have changed and that’s especially true for
Christian churches when it comes to connecting and cultivating
meaningful relationships in a secular, pluralistic, postmodern world.
The following edited chart from: The Issachar Factor, Martin and MacIntosh, (pp. 125-133) highlights some of the contrasts.
That Was Then….
|
This Is Now…
|
*Visitors
|
* Guests
|
* Reserved parking for staff
|
* Reserved parking for guests
|
* Home visits
|
* Phone visits
|
* Visitors introduced
|
* Guests anonymous
|
* Responsibility is with visitor
|
* Responsibility is with church
|
* Happens by accident
|
* Happens by plan
|
* Lecture-styled facilities
|
* Relational-styled facilities
|
* Membership class
|
* Membership process
|
* Information packets
|
* Video on the church
|
* No funds
|
* Budgeted item
|
* Ushers solicited
|
* Ushers trained
|
* Back rows for members
|
* Back rows for guests
|
* Find friends after the service
|
* Find a guest after the service
|
* Random follow-up
|
* Organized tracking
|
Resources
The Issachar Factor, Martin and MacIntosh, Broadman and Holman, 1993
Dr. Harold Percy, “Your Church Can Be Visitor
Friendly” (Discusses Steps 2,4-8) Wycliffe College, School of Evangelism
5 Hoskin Ave., Toronto, Ontario, Canada M5S 1H7 (416) 979 2870 Fax
(416) 979 0471
Dr. Michael Knowles, “I Was A Stranger And You Welcomed Me” Assistant Director, Wycliffe College, School of Evangelism
The Inviting Church: A Study of New Member Assimilation Roy Oswald and Speed Leas Albion Institute, 1987 Albion Institute, 4125 Nebraska Ave. NW Washington, D.C. 20016
Welcome: Tools and Techniques for New Member Ministry Andrew Weeks, Albion Institute 1992
How To Warmly Welcome and Effectively Enfold People in Your Church Resource Kit from Church Development Resources 3475 Mainway, Burlington, Ontario, L7M 1A9 (800) 263 4252 (905) 336 2920
What Visitors See: Seeing Your Church Through The Eyes of a Visitor
By Carl George Workbook and audio cassette (1988) Charles E. Fuller
Institute of Evangelism and Church Growth P.O. Box 91990, Pasadena CA
91109-1990 (818) 449 0425 (800) 999 9578
